You’ve Planned Your Retirement Paycheck—But Who’s Coming to Brunch?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, so you have figured out your retirement paycheck, but who are you [00:00:04] Speaker B: having brunch with, or any meal for that matter, today? Planning a social life that you can take pride in. [00:00:18] Speaker A: Welcome to Take Pride in Retirement, the podcast dedicated to helping members of the LGBTQ community protect and grow their hard earned money. Get set for a show full of education and insights with your host and advisor, Matt McCl. We recognize every family is unique. The goal of the show is to help you achieve financial freedom so you and your loved ones can have the retirement you've always dreamed of. A retirement you can take pride in, [00:00:43] Speaker B: no matter who you are, where you're [00:00:45] Speaker A: from, or who you love. So now let's start the Show. Here's Matt McClure. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Well, hello there, and welcome to another edition of Take Pride in retirement. Matt McClure here with you, your host, your advisor, your friend, your pal, and, yes, even your confidants. [00:01:01] Speaker A: And I am Josh Retinoba, the attache to the advisor, AKA co host, AKA Matt's husband. [00:01:07] Speaker B: That's. He does fit into all those categories. That's. That's correct. Thank you so much for being here, being a part of the show, as always, really do appreciate it. Without you, there is no show. So that's. That is the, like, most important thing that we can say each and every time we start one of these, like, and subscribe, please, if you're watching us on YouTube. Yes, I said what? Like, and sub. There we go. Yes, absolutely. It's not the same without the song. And I also have to say that the whole purpose of this show is that no matter who you are, where you come from, who you love, how you identify, or how much money you have, you deserve a retirement you can take pride in. That is all there is to it. It's a fairly simple concept that the show is based on, but we try to just bring that home each and every week. This week is no different at all. So go to takeprideinretirement.com if anything that we say here, you know, kind of piques your interest or makes you think, oh, I need to maybe get this looked at or I don't know what I'm going to do there or whatever. Like, there's a lot to get to here, so just make sure. Go to takeprideinretirement.com you can set up a free consultation. All right. [00:02:26] Speaker A: Yeah. And, Matt, we spend so much time talking about replacing that paycheck right, with retirement, so should we also be talking about planning what our days will look [00:02:34] Speaker B: like, well, yeah, I mean, you know, we, we want to always think of that as, well, you know, you got to have the money to do the things that you want to do. And that's why we talk about, you know, retirement income so much. But what do you want to do? And like, how do you stay, you know, active, socially and from a health standpoint and all of those things, you know, retirement changes that routine and your relationships along with your income. So it's a super important conversation to have. And I'm glad that we're, that we're doing it this time. And if you are listening to the show, you're approaching retirement. Let's talk about how that money, the money that you have or the money that you will have can support the life that you want, whatever type of retirement you want to have. Let's make it happen. And again, schedule that complimentary consultation. Take PrideInRetirement.com is the website. [00:03:29] Speaker A: Yeah. And I mean, like, what do people, when we think about this, what do they lose when they leave work? Right? Like, what have they possibly not thought about that they were used to or wanting to do now that they're retired? [00:03:39] Speaker B: It's such a great question because it's like, you know, you sort of depending on your job and your situation and all of those things, like, work can be a hassle, it can be a drag. It could be something that you love. It can be something that you really devote your life to because you love it. It can be any of those things. But regardless of that, work does provide a routine. It provides, you know, regular conversations with people, that interaction. It provides a lot of friendships. I have a lot of friends that I've worked with in the past and currently you, I know, same thing. And it provides that sense of purpose. You know, I mean, not that a job defines you or a career defines you as a human being, but it does provide a sense of purpose. You're going and accomplishing something, whether it's every day, whether it's, you know, a few days a week, whether it's every once in a while you have something thing to do. It provides a purpose for you when you get to do it. And those everyday interactions, I think to more to your point, are the things that people are going to miss the most but not going to realize it until they're gone. Really, you know, enjoying the sort of solitude and feeling disconnected. Those are kind of two different things, right? Almost two sides of the same coin a little bit. Because you can enjoy the solitude or you can really let it get to you and eat away at you. And so you want to find a healthy balance, whatever that looks like for you in retirement. I mean, start building your activities and maintaining friendships before retiring. Actually make, you know, if you're going to see maybe people who you work with for the last time at work and you know, what your retirement date is like before that. If you've got these friendships that you've forged through the years and you want to stay connected with these people, let them know that first, and then also go ahead and make plans with them for after you're retired. Right. Like, say, okay, you know, three months from now, let's set a date to go do something. Go to this game or go out to dinner or go do whatever. And I feel like that gets you one step ahead. Right? [00:05:37] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, people get so used to a routine. I love a routine. As a Virgo, I like a bulleted list of things to do. I do, like, spontaneous things as well. But having just sort of an outline always makes me feel better. So I think a lot of people retire and they're like, okay, now I'm stir crazy. Like, like, how much of an empty calendar do you actually want to have? You know, it's beautiful when you can finally relax, obviously, but it's one of those things where, like, I'm sure so many people unexpectedly miss the entire routine of having work. [00:06:06] Speaker B: Oh, 100%. Like, if you are used to doing that each and every day for so many years, like, then all of a sudden you don't do that. You know, I've had a few of my clients retire now, and it really is one of the biggest struggles that they have. It's like they either A, don't know what to do, just period, or B, they don't want to do. They know what they want to do, and then they're like, oh, I kind of miss this thing. That kind of used to get on my nerves because I did it every day. Well, now I kind of missed that thing because I got to see all these people and do all the things that we just talked about. And so, yeah, it can be kind of this weird mental thing. And the other part of that mentally, too, is like, you've always had the paycheck coming in well from somebody else. Well, now you've got to pay yourself. Right. And, you know, Social Security and those other types of things as well might be other paychecks that you receive in retirement. But, like, you got to make that mental switch. So it all compounds. But, yeah, you don't Want to have an empty calendar every single day where you're like, there are only so many days you can sit on the front porch and. And simple mint julep under an old magnolia. You know, it just doesn't, like, every single day for years and years and years. You'll probably drive yourself insane. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Right? I mean, for those people that are retiring, that have a spouse or they're partnered, I. Most of the time, your partner can't be everything. You know, like, as much as we love each other, you know, we have different interests. You know, Matt's totally into video games right now, and I may have been in a massive one called Red Dead 2, but he's going old school with Zelda now. So, like, you have to have some sort of interest because you can't put everything 100% onto your partner. That. That is the. That's your entire social calendar is going to be that person. [00:07:44] Speaker B: Yeah, true. Well, and I have to say, too, Legend of Zelda may be 40 years old this year, but that's just the original one. There are, you know, like, more than a dozen other Zelda games that have come out since. And the Ocarina of Time remake is coming out next month, and I am so excited for it. Okay, that is just an aside to our convers here, but I may or may not have already put in my pre order because I cannot wait for someone to buy that for me for Christmas. But if there's anything that you want to buy me that's related to that, great. But yeah, no, it's true. Back to the actual discussion here at hand. You're, you know, you don't want to necessarily be everybody's everything all the time. When you are in that spousal relationship or a partner relationship, you know, you might have those different interests, you might have even different retirement timelines. So you can't necessarily necessarily even rely on that person to be retired at the same time that you are. There could be an age difference there. You know, I've worked with several couples who. There's a fairly, fairly significant age difference between the two partners. And so what you got to do is communicate it, right? You've got to discuss the expectations going in, and you've got to just make sure that you're on the same page, right? And, you know, build some shared traditions that you and your spouse or partner, you know, do and, and. And sort of maintain throughout those years, but also, you know, find maybe those individual friends who maybe are not necessarily people that you have to go hang out with together. Maybe You've got like a friend group that is your, like your video game group or something, and you want to talk about your video games and stuff. And the other spouse is like, I would rather jump off a bridge than do that. Then they can go and hang out with, you know, their, I don't know, voice actor, motion capture friends. I, I don't know, I'm this out there because it hits home. But you know, just find still maintain your own interests. And if you have the same interests, great and, and wonderful. I'm not trying to downplay that at all, but I'm just saying that if you are in that situation, that's a thing that you need to maybe emphasize so that you don't put too much pressure on each other. Right. In, in your retirement years, include people like your chosen family, your neighbors, your other friends across generations. [00:10:01] Speaker A: Right. [00:10:02] Speaker B: So, you know, not everybody has to necessarily be the. Of the same age and all that. You know, hanging out with people who are of a generation younger than you might keep you young, you know, and then I think that people who are single as well can build new dependable connections in those retirement years also. I mean, maybe those neighbors that you have that, that you haven't gotten a chance to spend a lot of time with, if you live in a community where there are a lot of activities and things going on, go to those activities and meet the neighbors and get to know them now because you've got that time on your hands. [00:10:39] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, obviously I love being with Matt mostly all the time, but I think that it is important that you find things that you individually love. But we share a lot of common interests, which is great. But I mean, that's like, for other people to be like, I love you, but do we want to do everything together? Right? [00:10:56] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'm the same way. Like, I love spending time with you as well. And like, it's funny because I'll think I've been. This year has been kind of a weird one for me travel wise. Like, I've been on several, like, more business trips than usual this year. And normally, like, on those trips I'll be like, you know, I'm fine. I'm fine by myself. Like, I'll see the people who are on the trip as well. Like, you know, I'll have lunch or dinner with the group and I'll have people to see and all that. So I'm not, you know, completely by myself, but I'm without you. And so I'll have. I literally, this is just the kind of person I am, and maybe it says a lot about me. I'll have a literal conversation with myself and be like, you know what? I'm okay. I'm by myself, but I'm okay. And I'm, you know, I'm fine. I'm not going to go crazy or be too, too lonely or whatever. This year, though, I swear, this past, like this very last trip that I took, I was like, gone for a day. And after that first day, I was like, okay, let's. Let's get home. Get home, Josh, now. Because, you know, and that's the thing, like, you don't necessarily, like, you want to be okay apart and, you know, okay together as well. So you've got to, I don't know, just make sure that you're on the same page. I feel like it's like with anything in a relationship. We talk about this a lot. Like, communication is key here, you know, I mean, that strong relationship that you have doesn't have to be the end all, be all when it comes to your social life. It can exist within the grander scheme of things, but it can also be, you know, something that you don't want to neglect as well. So find a balance, right? [00:12:33] Speaker A: And that's what's important is just, just speak to each other, you know, for the ones that are coupled off. It just makes you, like buying things that you enjoy together for retirement. I'm sure when we finally retire, you know, we. I know we want to travel, we want to, you know, take a camper out and have a beautiful scenery, you wake up to a cool breeze, etc. You know, and of course, going to lovely casinos. So, I mean, just make sure that, that you're on the same page about what you want to do. And if you're single, then of course you have more options to find those groups of people, whether you want to go hiking, maybe you're a running type of people. I don't know why, but you find, you find your thing you want to do with other people. [00:13:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it's very true. And again, like, you know, to sort of emphasize this point as well, knowing what you do, what you want to do rather in your retirement years and what you dream of, that is part of the battle. It's kind of the first step, really, in knowing what your retirement's going to look like. Beyond that, you got to make sure that you're going to have the retirement income to be able to do it. That can be where I come into this whole picture. Like, I mean, you know, I make Suggestions for things that you might want to do in retirement. Absolutely. Sure. But you know, I'm not going to be, you know, if you have champagne and caviar taste, but you've got a beer and pretzels budget, you know, I don't want to get those kinds of things wrong. So let's make you have that. If you got that champagne and caviar taste, let's get you there so you can actually do those things that you want to do in retirement. Take PrideInRetirement.com once again, is the website consultation absolutely free of any cost or any obligation? Once again, take PrideInRetirement.com Yep. [00:14:08] Speaker A: I always say Matt is the advisor that cares. He's going to help you the best he can. And if he can't help you, he will show you to someone else that can. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. I, you know, I can do a lot of things. You know, sometimes there are things that are just not necessarily in my wheelhouse and that's why I work with a great team of people and have great, like, partnerships in the business as well. So if there something that I'm not quite comfortable with or I don't maybe have the licensing or the whatever to do, I know, I know a guy or two or a gal or two. So we'll get you there. Not, not a doubt in the world. [00:14:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, how about for the listeners, Matt, that, you know, someone is like yearning for that connection, but they have no idea where to start or to find people. What would you suggest? [00:14:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I would say the kind of like that things we were talking about before with common interests. Start there. You know, like theater, something that we both enjoy. Music we also enjoy. Maybe there are people who have like walking groups. You've always been active. You want to stay active in those retirement years. Find a walking group in your neighborhood, you know, maybe even check with your friends, your relatives and see if they know about different activities that are going on that might interest you that you don't know about. You know, maybe volunteering, maybe if you have an affirming community of faith that you are a part of, maybe become more involved in your retirement years because you have the time to do it right. If that's something that you're passionate about. And these sort of recurring activities, they can give you that familiarity of almost a routine, but still they're a lot more flexible, obviously, than having to go into, as Dolly said, God rest her soul, working 9 to 5. It's not that strict and structured. Yeah. And then there are also, I'M sure, like, we live in the Atlanta area. There are a ton of LGBTQ organizations to be a part of, welcoming groups that are built around shared interests. Maybe, you know, it's an LGBT gamer group that you could be a part of. I keep going back to that because it's. Because, you know, Josh brought it up and it hits home. But, you know, you also have to consider the things that have to do with the money as well. Make sure that you can afford to do these things, make sure you have transportation to these things, make sure that they are accessible to you. If you've got any sort of physical limitations later on in life, life, and you got to be comfortable being yourself in these settings. Don't just go to do something because it's something to do. Go to do something because it's the right thing to do for you. Right. And, you know, maybe if there's. You go to something and it doesn't quite fit, fine, you don't have to go back. But if you go to, you know, participate in another group and you're like, okay, this is promising. Give down a few more chances and see if you continue to enjoy it over the long haul and. And you just might. [00:16:57] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, like, for us, you know, for Matt and me, it's. We have, you know, outside of his work and outside of my acting jobs, we love going to, like, distilleries, we love going to wineries. [00:17:08] Speaker B: We. [00:17:09] Speaker A: I love being outside, period. So, of course, we have dogs, we have cats. We, you know, we have animals that take up a lot of time. But our interest, you know, those are our common interests that we have with each other. We love films, so we love, like, watching cool television shows and binge watching them, particularly stuff that's in Britain. Yeah. So, I mean, just like, discuss that with, you know, whatever and, you know, discuss what makes a group feel welcoming. Like, what's going to make you want to return to that group or your friends or whatever. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Yeah, well, it's funny because you are so much more outgoing, I feel like, just in general than I am. When we're out in public and people are around who we don't know I am, I'll go up and I'll talk to people. I'm just not as necessarily as assertive about it as you are, because you'll start a conversation, like, I mean, it could be like, with the lamppost out front, like, you literally are unafraid. And I am just a little bit more on the. Quite a bit more on the reserved side in those type of settings. And so I feel like you find these meaningful connections no matter where you are, because you just love people and getting to know people and connecting in that way. But, like, yeah, I mean, I, you know, I volunteer at our church quite a bit in doing, like, audio, visual stuff and all of that. And so just having that. Whatever that common connection is, that common purpose with a group, I feel like is great. And, you know, again, it's just, you gotta make sure what is right for you, not what may have been right for somebody else. It's much like retirement planning from a financial standpoint. Because this retirement plan worked for your mom or your dad or your aunt or uncle or Jim Bob down the road, doesn't mean that it's going to necessarily work for you. Same thing with what you want to do in retirement. You know, like, your great friends may love to travel in retirement, and then you start out traveling and you're like, yeah, I don't necessarily love this as much as I thought I would. We'll find something else to do that interests you, not based on something that, you know, that somebody else did. Yeah. [00:19:05] Speaker A: Okay, Mr. Advisor, let's say, how does one go from I need to get out more. How do they make that part of a financial plan for them? [00:19:13] Speaker B: Well, you got to take a look at everything, right? You've got to make sure that you include part of your, you know, your budget in retirement for things like meals with friends, any classes that you might want to take if you were trying to learn a new skill or a new hobby or just, you know, learn a little bit more about something else. Even if it's like history or something like that, you know, if you're taking some sort of a class, tickets, memberships, transportation, all those things have to be figured in right balance the paid activities with the free ones or the inexpensive ones. I always say that free fits right into my budget, and it does. Everybody's. So, you know, make sure that you have about whatever that balance is for you. Make sure that it fits into your budget for retirement. You also got a budget for visits to important people who may live elsewhere. Some of our best friends live in Nashville. You know, we also have some of our best friends and family live in New York. Some people live out west. So it's like, like, you know, fit that into your budget plans as well. And, you know, maintaining connections after a move is important, too, because if you pick up stakes and leave where you've been forever, you know, you've got to make sure that you stay in touch with the people who are most important to you. And don't let those connections fall by the wayside and put in some effort. Like, you know, I often will say, well, I'll tell Josh, I'll be like, you can't expect everybody to react or behave the same way that you would in a given situation. So don't just think that, oh, because, well, my great friend moved away, I would check on them. Well, because somebody doesn't reciprocate, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care. They just have their life and they're busy. So put in some effort on both sides there. But planned spending can really help you feel comfortable enjoying that money again. That's one of the biggest sort of mental roadblocks for people enjoying that money or even spending it in retirement. It can be very difficult. You know, say 150 bucks a month you want to put aside for social activities. It's about 1800 bucks a year for, you know, those types of different social activities. That's an expense to plan for. [00:21:30] Speaker A: Right. [00:21:30] Speaker B: If you're, if you're like, I'm going to do X, Y and Z each and every month and those are going to be my social activities. Maybe some of them are free, some of them are paid, or some of them are inexpensive, then just plan that out over the year and say, like, okay, here's my chunk of change for that. Boom. Done. [00:21:45] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'd say just make sure that you name an experience that you would happily, you know, spend the money on for that enjoyment or the relationship of what that brings. I mean, like for us, like, I always want to make sure we're not house poor or we have enough money to go out to dinner or go to a nice restaurant or even just a get a coffee. You know, like something that brings simple joy. Just make sure that you're having that conversation with your spouse, your partner or yourself to make sure that you're budgeting that. So you're like, no, I know once a week I want to go out to a new winery or I want to do whatever. You know, just make sure that's part of the conversation you're having with your person or yourself. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Yes, exactly. I mean, include the life that you want to enjoy. As I, as I always say, it's, we kind of refer to it as a smart vision for retirement. You know, what do you envision for those retirement years? Include that when you're estimating those retirement expenses. [00:22:37] Speaker A: Yep. All right, Matt, for the listeners today, what is one thing someone could do this Week to start building that social life. [00:22:45] Speaker B: Well, you know, I would. Do not tell me. [00:22:47] Speaker A: Exercise. Do not tell me. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Well, this is the, this is the thing. This is something that I need to start doing and it doesn't even necessarily have to be a social thing thing, although it can be if you want to join a local gym or go to like you know, if you're, if you are of retirement age, like a silver sneakers sort of a program that may be in your local area. That's a great way to actually meet people. But I would sit down and I would actually take a look at sort of a realistic month where maybe there's not a whole lot going on. So not like around the holidays or, or you know, anything like that. But you know, maybe just write down one recurring activity that gets you around people. It could be an exercise class like that or it could be some sort of new hobby that you're going to do or whatever. Just people, you know, with a, with a like minded sort of outlook. Right. One relationship to maintain through a specific get together. [00:23:38] Speaker A: Right. [00:23:38] Speaker B: So a friend that you've had for a long time, maybe a co worker who you just hate to leave when you retire, that, that sort of thing. Make it a point to get together with them once a month and then one new experience that you might be curious about, map all of that out and then if you're in a couple situation, make a calendar. You know, you can do like we have like a family calendar that all of our stuff is on together or you can just maintain separate calendars and then compare your sort of expectations and then choose something to do together on top of those kind of separate things that you envision. So you know, it's, it doesn't have to be rocket science here but maybe just a little bit of planning can go a long way in making sure that you are not bored to tears. [00:24:22] Speaker A: Yeah, this sounds like me. Like you know, it doesn't have to be completely planned but a nice bullet list of something and you could compare it with your partner or your, your person and just you know, make the expectations realistic and just still leave room for the spontaneity. Right. Like I, I love surprises but I like surprises with some sort of structure. [00:24:40] Speaker B: Yes, absolutely. And if you are listening or watching, you know, reach out to somebody this week and that's your homework. I mean not really, but here. But you know, it's a good idea I feel like reach out to somebody this week. Just contact one person and schedule something to do with them. You know, whether you're Retired or not, it's a good idea and can get you, especially if you've kind of been cooped up or whatever. And, and I know we're, we just left the hot, hot months of summer behind, and hopefully it's not going to get too hot again. But, you know, go out and if you've just felt like doing nothing but sitting inside, inside with the air conditioning on, then get out there and do something with somebody. Make it a point to do that. [00:25:24] Speaker A: Yeah. So when we're picturing retirement, what should we be asking ourselves besides, do I have enough money? [00:25:31] Speaker B: I mean, that is the, that is kind of the question that a lot of people ask. And even the better question to ask is, do I have enough income? Rather than just do I have enough money? Right. Because income is where it's at in retirement when you're looking at what you want to do. But the big thing is, how do I want to spend my days? Who do I want to spend those days with? And does my financial plan support those answers to those questions? I mean, it really is, it really can be as simple as that. Like, let's take a look at those sort of big picture things and then we can, we can nail it down to, here's what you need to do to get there. [00:26:05] Speaker A: Yeah. And I would just say start small. You know, a person, an activity, an actual date on the calendar. I mean, one of those could be like going with your spouse to meet Matt to discuss retirement. That's getting out of the house if you want to do it in person. Or it could be on Zoom or whatever. Just that's making a plan and that's doing something. But obviously, you know, just, just make sure that you don't feel stuck in retirement, that your life is over because you're not working. Just make sure that you, you have something to look forward to and you have the budget to do it. Yeah, great plan. [00:26:34] Speaker B: Exactly. A plan that's built for whatever you want to do in your retirement years. And if you want help, you know, sort of connecting those dots. [00:26:41] Speaker A: Right. [00:26:41] Speaker B: Connecting the goals with your finances and getting a plan together that's going to help you achieve those goals. Schedule that complimentary consultation. Once again, takeprideinretirement.com you can also call 855-246921. 1-855-2469211. Complimentary consultation. It means free, folks. It can meet by zoom or at the office in the metro Atlanta area if you happen to be here. All right. Well, that, as I look at the Old Clock on the Wall is going to do it for this edition of of the show. But nice doing business with you Mr. Attache. [00:27:14] Speaker A: Pleasure, Mr. McClure. [00:27:16] Speaker B: We appreciate it very much and we appreciate you listening to or watching the show. Thank you so so much and remember to until next time, take pride in yourselves and take care of each other. We'll see you then. [00:27:31] Speaker A: Thanks for listening to Take Pride in Retirement Members of the LGBTQ community community deserve to work with a fiduciary financial advisor who puts their needs first. To schedule a free, no obligation consultation [00:27:43] Speaker B: with Matt McClure and the team at [00:27:45] Speaker A: ActiveWealth Management, call 855-246-9211 or go online to take PrideInRetirement.com investment advisory services offered through Brookstone Capital Management, LLC, BCM, a registered investment advisor. BCM and Active Wealth Management Incorporated are independent of each other. Insurance products and services are not offered through BCM but are offered and sold through individually licensed and appointed agents. [00:28:11] Speaker B: Any examples used are for illustrative purposes only and do not take into account your particular investment objectives, financial situation or needs and may not be suitable for all investors. 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